Want a Humanist Ceremony? How to Choose Your Wedding Celebrant!

Kristina McDonald
Jan 3
4 min read

So, you've booked your venue and set your date, and maybe you've begun ticking other vendors off your list. But there's a big one you need to make a decision about; who is going to marry you?

If you've found your way to my site, I'm guessing you're at least considering a humanist celebrant for your wedding. Hopefully I can help you decide, and smooth the way for you to find your perfect officiant. Here are five things to consider when choosing your celebrant.

What are they like, online and in person?

Our online personas are a big part of how celebrants attract couples, and you should look at prospective officiants' social media pages and websites to get a feel for who they are. It's vital that your personalities vibe with your celebrant's, so make sure you look at as many socials as you can, make a shortlist of people you feel you would get on with, and get in touch with them for an initial meeting. This first catchup should be free, no-obligation and face-to-face, either on a video call or an in-person meetup. Ask lots of questions, let the conversation flow, and hopefully you will get on well! If not, be honest and move on to the next, but don't second-guess if you instantly click with the first celebrant you meet; some things are just meant to be!

How do they work?

Each celebrant will have their own ways of working. Some may use technology to carry out meetings, with Zoom, Whatsapp and emails being their main forms of communication, whereas others may conduct all their meetings face-to-face. The same is true for planning, liaising and carrying out other admin tasks. I know celebrants who will do one big in-person meeting to plan your entire ceremony, done over several hours at your home or a coffee shop, which generates organic ideas and dynamic energy, whereas others, like myself, prefer a questionnaire, giving you time and space to think about and write down your answers to a set of tailored questions. Your celebrant's way of working will be a big part of how your script comes to be, so make sure you check with them and that you're comfy with it before booking.

What are their values?

Celebrants are people with individual beliefs and values, even within the one organisational body. So while you may decide you must have a Humanists UK accredited celebrant (and I hope you do), or another organisation, you still have some work to do to find the perfect one. Are they an animal lover, and therefore won't do dove or butterfly releases? What is their policy on using AI in ceremony writing? Do they tend towards a more humorous or romantic tone in their ceremony style? All these are questions you can ask your potential celebrant.

How much do they cost?

Mercenary as it might feel to some of my colleagues, price is an important consideration for most couples. You will inevitably have a budget in mind, and for some people, their celebrant is not as much of a priority as other elements of their wedding day. And that's ok! Some celebrants will simply be out of your budget, as we all charge differently. However, when you are considering price, you should also consider quality; what might seem a good deal at the time may be too good to be true on the day itself. If having a bespoke, completely personal ceremony that is written for you, with no copy-pasting, AI or cribbing from other ceremonies, then you will need to pay for it. Humanists UK wedding celebrants have been trained to a high standard, and, speaking for myself, I work incredibly hard to tailor every single script to each individual couple. I ask you lots of questions, get your thoughts and ideas, and use your feedback to write your script for you. Make sure to consider what's important to you, both in terms of cost and content, and don't be afraid to ask celebrants what their fees are; they should be up-front and there should be no hidden charges or late additions to your final bill.

What is their style?

This may seem like a similar question to some of the above, but there is an important distinction. Each celebrant will have their own style, of dress, presentation, speaking and writing. Their voice, their storytelling, their turn of phrase, will all be unique, and you should feel comfortable with all of this before you book them. A lot of this you will be able to gauge during an initial meeting; ask them what their favourite wedding was, where their favourite venue is, or what their writing process is, and let them talk; when you listen to them, can you visualise them telling your story on your wedding day? How does that make you feel? Would you feel comfortable having them up front and centre with you? If you feel comfy, safe, held and confident in their ability to lead the ceremony, entertain your guests, tell your story and help you make your vows, then you just might have found the celebrant for you.

If you're looking for a celebrant who is warm, friendly, wordy, a bit quirky and full of excitement for YOUR wedding day, get in touch; I'd love to chat about your big day!